Tsumego
by Aishuu
Summary: A series of unrelated shorts from the Hikaru no Go universe. Some humorous, some dramatic... it's a grab bag. New Story: A Portrait of Touya Akira as a Young Man.
1. In the Shadow of the Light

Aishuu Offers:

In the Shadow of the Light

shitsui@yahoo.com

Challenge: Pure Dialogue.

Time: 25 minutes.

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata.

Notes: Speakers should be pretty obvious. Done for a timed challenge.

  


THANKS TO THOSE WHO POINTED OUT THE PROBLEM WITH AKARI'S LAST NAME. Damnit, I watch too many anime series.

  
  


****

  
  


"This is the kifu?"

  


"Yes, Fujizaki got it for me. Careful, you're wrinkling it!"

  


"And I can't destroy anything Fujizaki gives you, can I?"

  


"Shut up."

  


"That's no way to talk to a senpai."

  


"You were never my senpai. I took your place, since you were too damn lazy to keep playing. Or chicken."

  


"You just never realized the glory of Shogi. I can teach you, if you want."

  


"I'll stick to Go, thanks."

  


"This is... really something. I knew when they finally played each other seriously that it would be."

  


"Huh. Lot better than their first game. Both of them ended up bawling like babies. I don't know why Touya was expecting so much out of Shindou."

  


"You never really watched Shindou play when he was serious, did you? The first time he played me, he almost beat me."

  


"So? You're a Shogi player."

  


"And I'm a better Go player than you'll ever be, too. No, stupid, Shindou's special. It was like he has a split personality."

  


"He was just inconsistent. You heard he quit, right?"

  


"What was up with that?"

  


"Not a clue. One day, he quit being a pro, just like he quit club. And I almost strangled him."

  


"I almost strangled him a couple of times. I think most people who've spent any amount of time with him have wanted to kill him. Damn, I wouldn't have thought to play a suberi here..."

  


"They leapt right into the fight. I never could figure out what was going on in his head."

  


"Least you never had to put up with Touya. Shindou at least is a nice guy. Touya is a pain in the ass."

  


"I met him once. He was... intense."

  


"The guy chose whether he wanted to win or lose. And I was going to be a pro... and he just did what he wanted because he felt pity for me. Come to think of it, Shindou was a bit like that... though I could never figure out the pattern to which games he'd chose to win."

  


"Chose to win?"

  


"Didn't you ever notice? That split personality thing. It was like he was playing with two styles, and couldn't control them. Sometimes I'd insult him, just to get him to play seriously - but it didn't always work."

  


"Never really thought of it. I never really thought of him as a pro-caliber player until he said he was going to take the insei tests."

  


"When was the moment you knew he was better than you?"

  


"Huh?"

  


"Can it. I'm curious."

  


"I... that day, when we quit club. He'd been beating me for a while, but I dismissed it as flukes. But... that day.... you?"

  


"I always knew."

  


"He's never beaten you."

  


"No, and that's why we'll never play again. If we play again, he'll crush me. I want to be the player he'll never beat, that memory."

  


"He. We were both first boards when he was third. This keima didn't get much advantage..."

  


"That was the best move I can see, and I don't think either of us would have seen it in the heat of the game. Are you playing still? Going to join our Go Club when you come here?"

  


"Tsutsui's already drafted me. I'll go to some of the meetings, but I don't intend on playing in the tournaments."

  


"You should. Fujizaki will be disappointed."

  


"What she got to do with it?!"

  


"Hmmm... you should ask her out. Stop following her like a puppy and just get it over with."

  


"You are a pain in ass."

  


"And who's the coward now?"

  


"She's interested in Shindou. Always has been, even though he's constantly making her cry, that bastard."

  


"He's not interested in her. His interest lies... elsewhere."

  


"I've never seen him around another girl."

  


"He doesn't swing that way."

  


"Not-"

  


"Yep. Those two have been obsessed by each other since they were twelve. They really should stop fighting and kiss and make up."

  


"I... I don't need that mental image."

  


"Scary, isn't it? You should ask Fujizaki out, though. Before it all goes down."

  


"Bad picture, baaaaad picture...."

  


"You have a dirty mind."

  


"I'm a typical teenage male. Maybe I should sell copies of this kifu... I bet a lot of people will pay to see it in the future..."

  


"The first Shindou/Touya game? It's a collector's item."

  


"Shindou seems to have gotten it together... but Touya still won."

  


"Not because he was a ton better. The game could have gone either way - in the future, Shindou will win something. He's a prodigy."

  


"Scary. But Touya's one, too."

  


"I know. That's why I quit after realizing I'd never beat Touya fair and square. I could have been a pro, but... when you play a genius, you know that you'll never be their equal. I would have been mediocre all my life, one of those middle dans who never play in title matches."

  


"It's not a bad life."

  


"It's not a good one, either. I'm happier now, really. I can still play... and no one expects a Shogi expert to whip Go players into place. Speaking of which, wanna play?"

  


"Feel like losing?"

  


"That'll be the day. What do you want for a handicap?"

  


"Bastard."

  
  



	2. Like Water for Chocolate

Like Water for Chocolate

~ A Hikaru no Go Short ~

Pairing: AkiHika

Rating: G

  


~*~*~*~*~

  
  


When they finally admitted that there was more than just rivalry and more than just friendship between them, they began to spend their extra time together. Eventually this led to that, and they were living in the same apartment by the time they were twenty.

  


Akira, though, did all the shopping, claiming Hikaru didn't know what he was buying. The issue had come up over - of all things - water. To him, it was just bottled water. However, he was wrong. 

  


Akira was known for not eating during lunch break, but he was very fond of his bottled water. Hikaru had once looked at it, and was surprised that it was a rather pricey brand. The one time Hikaru had done their shopping, he had honestly tried to remember what brand Akira preferred, but couldn't. So he had just grabbed the one with the prettiest label, figuring that it wouldn't really matter.

  


Wrong.

  


Akira had his peccadilloes. His water was one of them.

  


"What is this?" Akira asked when he finally discovered the fruits of Hikaru's efforts. His voice was icy, and Hikaru had been a bit taken aback.

  


"Water?"

  


"It's mineral water," Akira said, talking to Hikaru the way he would talk to a child. "I asked for purified water."

  


"Um... that makes a difference?" 

  


Akira had rolled his eyes before tossing the bottle back and forth in his hands. "Of course it does. There's artesian water, drinking water, mineral water, purified water, sparkling water, spring water, well water..."

  


Hikaru felt his eyes widen. "What's the difference?"

  


"Where you get it from and how it's processed," Akira said. "Some of them taste different, too."

  


"Isn't water just water?"

  


"No!" Akira said, and began to subject his lover to a list of the differences in taste. By the time Akira was done, Hikaru felt like he had been hit over the head by a two-by-four. 

  


Hikaru only did the shopping once more, and when he purchased Coke instead of Pepsi, Akira pronounced him hopeless and took over the shopping permanently.


	3. Answers

Aishuu Offers:

Answers

~ Hikaru no Go ~

Challenge: 100 words, The Moment of Truth

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata.

I don't know why I came today, seeking answers to why he stopped playing. He worked so hard to catch me, and now that he's here, he stopped abruptly, like he hit the wall I did when first we met.   
  
He seems defeated, light faded from his eyes. A weight lies heavy on his shoulders, and there is something else, something incomprehensible.   
  
He will not listen to my arguments, or answer my pleas.   
  
He claims he cannot play, but I know the truth.   
  
I struggled these past two years for him, and he for me.   
  
Without him, I am nothing.


	4. Eternities in Autumn Skies

Fic: Eternities in Autumn Skies

Author: Aishuu

Challenge: A scene from the past, present and future, in any order. The last sentence of each scene becomes the first of the next - and the last of the final is the first of the beginning scene.

Fandom: Hikago

Rating: G

Pairings: N/A

Type: Gen

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata.

Time: Approx. 40 minutes - forgot to time this, but I write 200 words in 5 minutes, and I had special problem with this 1,000 word piece, so I estimate an extra 15 for editing.

Notes: For temp_morts. Added an extra little "something" to this so it's really "past, present, future" ^_~ See if you get it. Which made me "bend" the last sentence tie... but I think it's okay.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


Above him, the sky stretched forever and he knew that eternity was truly endless.

  


In autumn, when the leaves began to change, he loved to sit outside and play. It was cooler, and the brilliant colors of the leaves provided a cheerful background to the white and black Go stones he spent so many hours studying. Often times he would replay games, feeling the cool wind caress his face.

  


Autumn days were unlike any others. There was a depthless feel to them, a feeling of imminence. Timelessness mingled among his fuseki, and he knew why Go was the game of the Gods.

  


Every time he prayed, he asked for only one thing...

  


Among the autumn leaves, Fujiwara no Sai wanted to play Go forever.

  


****

  


"Sai wanted to play Go forever, and he came back from the dead to do it," Hikaru will say on a clear autumn day, as he looks at his rival with serious eyes.

  


Akira, uncharacteristically, will not be angry with Hikaru, despite wondering if he is hearing the truth. Thoughts will race through his head, about whether or not the stress of being a pro had finally caused Hikaru to crack, about whether or not Hikaru is making fun of him — no, he will notice the seriousness in Hikaru's eyes, and how the Honinbou was regarding him with that look of intense concentration, the one he only displays when speaking of Go or something equally important to him.

  


"You're telling me you learned to play Go from a ghost," Akira will say in a flat voice, as his hands shake in an attempt to keep from strangling his rival. Strands of his hair, which will be long enough to wear in a dignified ponytail at the nape of his neck, will fall free as he violently shakes his head in denial of the idea.

  


"Yes."

  


It will be the simplicity of Hikaru's answer that will cause the Meijin to pause. They will have played many games, and titles will bounce back and forth between them like a child's yoyo... at that moment, Akira will hold three and Hikaru two, but both will know that it will only be a matter of time before they exchange again.

  


Hikaru will wait for Akira to reply, feeling nervous and scared, but he will not show that to Akira. Akira will always be able to know his opponent's mind, and the years will have focused that skill, especially where Hikaru is concerned. 

  


Akira will watch Hikaru's face, which will be carefully impassive, but the beautiful green eyes will be unable to hide the flickering of uncertainty — and the echo of truth.

  


Akira will remember that Hikaru's never lie — and there is truth in them now.

  


It will be then that Touya Akira would decide that Hikaru was speaking the truth. He will straighten his collar, and take a deep breath, trying to keep from being angry or betrayed. This day will be more than twenty years from the day they met, and finally Hikaru will make good on his promise to tell Akira about Sai.

  


It will be too long in coming — there will be too many secrets between them.

  


There will be many questions Akira will want to ask, but being hasty will not be in his nature even then. Akira will realize that what he says at that moment will chart the rest of their lives, so he will decide to wait and think on the thousands of questions that he wants answers to. Instead he will ask the only question that really matters, one which will give Hikaru's heart a sense of relief and joy.

  


"Shall we play, Hikaru?"

  


****

  


"Shall we play, Hikaru?"

  


They sit on the rug of Hikaru's bedroom floor, as they have done hundreds of times before.

  


Hikaru thinks it is a silly question. "I always want to play!" he tells Sai.

  


Sai hides a smile behind his fan. It is a pleasure to have such an eager student. Who would believe that the lazy twelve-year-old Sai had first met would turn into such a devote pupil?

  


Hikaru has just celebrating his fourteenth birthday, and is in the middle of the long and grueling pro exam. Sai wishes, in his heart, that he was the one playing those games, because he sees many paths that Hikaru misses, but he has to admit that Hikaru's strength is growing by leaps and bounds.

  


They don't bother to nigiri, because Sai is always white. Recently Hikaru's handicap has decreased from four to three, and Sai is proud of him. He takes a moment, staring at his pupil's face, a bit surprised. The boy is getting older, his face and body refining into the man he will someday be... someday sooner than Sai anticipates.

  


"Sai?" Hikaru says, and Sai realizes he has been quiet for too long. "Is something wrong?"

  


"No, no..." Sai says, and waves his fan to indicate where to lay a stone. They are only in the beginning stages, and it's like treading a familiar dance. Rarely do the opening moves vary too drastically.

  


The wind from Hikaru's window smells fresh and clean, and Sai smiles a bit as he realizes it is truly autumn. Soon winter will approach, but for today, there is nothing but Go and his student, and the knowledge that he had eternity to find the Hand of God.

  


There could be no greater joy, especially with company like Hikaru by his side.

  


Hikaru sees him smiling, and quirks an eyebrow. "What is it?" he asks.

  


"It's autumn," Sai says. 

  


"So?"

  


"It's my favorite season."

  


"Why? Summer's more fun to play..."

  


Sai thinks of modern conveniences and cooling methods, and his memories of sweltering heat and too-heavy clothing, and merely smiles. Autumn is a time for contemplation and Go, he has never been happier.

  


Above him, the sky stretches forever and he knows that eternity is truly endless.

  


ENDy


	5. Ghost in the Machine

Author: Aishuu

Title: Ghost in the Machine

Series: Hikaru no Go

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata.

Type: Gen

Challenge: Incorporate the theme "deus ex machina." 

Time: 32 minutes.

Notes: "Deux ex machina" literally means "God from the machine" so I wanted to work with that = along with both literal and figurative deus ex machina.

_I am looking for anyone with information on the go player known as __"Sai." Anyone who played him, observed his games, or has any of his kifu is encouraged to contact me.  
~ Kimihiro  
_  


***

Three years after Waya became a pro, he found the message on a bulletin board while surfing the net.  


Waya stared at the message thoughtfully. It had been a while since he had allowed himself to think of Sai, think of the incredible player who had only existed on the world of the net. On his computer he had nearly 100 kifu stored from the games he had witnessed, those five summers ago, and occasionally studied them, but he had forced himself to put them away.  


Sai was not coming back, he knew instinctively, so there was no point in dwelling on a secret he would never uncover.  


Without allowing himself to make second guesses, he opened up an e-mail.  


Within a day, Kimihiro had replied, his enthusiastic e-mail strangely thrilling to Waya. Waya had always believed that he had some kind of special connection with Sai, but he hadn't realized that he was right. Kimihiro seemed very interested in his kifu, and wanted to arrange to chat online.  


Waya couldn't resist. It was late Thursday night, after his scheduled game, but he wondered exactly what Kimihiro was up to, bringing up Sai.  


His mouse moved smoothly as he opened the private chatroom, and waiting for the other to arrive.  


__

****

  


Zelda: Hi.  


Kimihiro: I'm really glad you agreed to meet me. You have the most complete collection of Sai kifu I've seen — and the most accurate.   


Zelda: How do you know they're accurate?  


Kimihiro: By comparing what kifu I'm sent. A lot of people were watching his games, and I've received records of the matches from a lot of them, but some have errors, since at the time Sai was playing, there wasn't a saving function and everything had to be transcribed to separate programs. Yours all seem to be perfect — they match most of the other kifu, and they make the most sense.  


Zelda: Thanks. Why are you so interested in Sai?  


Kimihiro: I'm a sociology major, specializing in cybersociology.   


Zelda: That's a field?  


Kimihiro: Yes. We study the behaviors of people online, and the society that is being created.  


Zelda: What do you do with it?  


Kimihiro: Web marketing, mainly. Our entire culture is shifting because of the presence of the internet in our lives, and some people need to study the new society that have developed online. I want to do that.

  


Zelda: What's Sai got to do with this?

  


Kimihiro: All societies have systems of beliefs - a majority of them have deity figures.   


Zelda: You think Sai is God?  


Kimihiro: Not that, exactly. But when I heard of him, I heard of him called the "Go Saint" on the net. That's close to being a religious figure, don't you think?  


Zelda: I want to say that you're crazy, but...  


Kimihiro: There's people who are larger than life. They tend to become legendary figures. Sai already has become one. I'm doing my thesis on him. He directly influenced the net world, and maybe even the "real" world. Rumor has it that Touya Kouyo retired in part because of him. Imagine - the Meijin retiring because of a netplayer! Think of the ramifications!  


Zelda: Touya-sensei's career has exploded since he freed himself of his title obligations. His Go has become young again. Least that's what my sensei tells me.  


Kimihiro: Sensei?  


Zelda: I'm a professional go player. Many of the people Sai defeated were.  


Kimihiro: I have a friend who became a go pro.   


Zelda: Really? Who?

  


Kimihiro: Shindou Hikaru. Do you know him?  


Zelda: He's in my study group! We're good friends!  


Kimihiro: Really? I haven't seen him since I graduated junior high, but I've been following his career. He's doing really well.

  


Zelda: It's funny you should bring him up while we're talking about Sai — I once thought he was Sai...  


Kimihiro: Really? Why?  


Zelda: Because he knew something I told Sai. And... I thought I saw saw in his Go... which is ridiculous, because when he became an insei, he sucked.  


Kimihiro: Shindou was very erratic. The first time I met him, he played a game worthy of a pro. Then he started playing like an amateur before creaming people at Kaio Junior High.  


Zelda: That's where Touya Akira went!   


Kimihiro: This was before. We snuck him onto our team as a sixth grader... and he won. Touya was there, though... he was very impressed.  


Zelda: We thought Shindou was lying when he said Touya was his rival, but... I will never understand that. Shindou sucked, then suddenly...  


Kimihiro: It was like he was learning how to play Go again, wasn't it?  


Zelda: Yes... and sometimes when I play him, I still think of Sai.  


Kimihiro: I wouldn't put it past him. Now that I think on it, Shindou and I went to a Go exhibition around the time Sai first appeared. He was really interested in net gaming. I remember because he was having a hard time with the keyboard...  


Zelda: You don't think...  


Kimihiro: I wouldn't put anything passed Shindou. But the thing about legends is they ARE legends because they're larger than life. Here's the question, Zelda. Do you really want to know the truth about Sai?  


Zelda: I don't know anymore. It's one thing to dream of the perfect player - it's another entirely to be forced to realize he's sitting right next you.


	6. Almost, But Not Quite

Aishuu Offers:

Almost, But Not Quite

mbsilvana@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata.

Note: Angst. KagaTsutsui

Tsutsui had been a constant presence at Kaga's side. Ever since elementary school, the other boy had been there, usually on the outskirts of his presence, steadying him. They rarely got along, but that was okay. Tsutsui was quiet, but rarely cowed when something was important to him. And that was what Kaga liked best about him - Tsutsui didn't back down when it counted. Still, he was painfully shy, and had a tendency to stutter, which made it hard for him to make friends. So he took whatever Kaga kindness offered, and returned it tenfold.

  


Kaga knew he didn't deserve him.

  


Kaga was a bully, and he knew it. He was bigger than most kids his age, and had a fiery temper. He was always ready to lash out, especially when people insulted him or managed to prove themselves better than he was. Unlike most bullies, though, Kaga was smart, too smart for most of the people around him, and too smart to be caught intimidating those weaker than he was.

  


Tsutsui was a smart child, too, so it was natural they would spend time together. At first they spent time playing Go, which Kaga always managed to win, but later they would work on homework or just sit quietly together, knowing that there was someone they could be alone with.

  


It was a special thing, being with someone without having to entertain them. They would spend hours at the each other's houses, often times doing what they wanted without fear of the other complaining about being lonely.

  


People assumed Tsutsui was Kaga's lackey, but that wasn't true. Tsutsui did what Kaga wanted because he had few desires of his own. He wanted to be a good son, a good friend, a good student - but those vague goals fell by the wayside when Kaga wanted something immediately. Kaga lived in the moment; Tsutsui lived for the future. So Tsutsui would do what Kaga wanted, trying to meet his expectations. It was part of friendship, to Tsutsui.

  


Kaga said that he was the practical one, which Tsutsui would admit was the truth. Kaga made things happen, while Tsutsui daydreamed. They were day and night, yin and yang, fire and ice. But their strange relationship worked, and they didn't think to question it.

  


There were times when they thought they would never speak again, like when Kaga quit playing Go. It was something that Tsutsui couldn't understand. Tsutsui knew he didn't have enough talent for the game to amount to anything, but when he saw his friend give up his chance, he asked why.

  


Kaga flew into a rage, throwing the book he had been studying from at his friend. It hit Tsutsui, who had poor reflexes, upside the face, leaving a large mark. 

  


Tsutsui forgave him. Tsutsui always forgave Kaga. But they didn't speak of Go again.

  


Things change, though, as children grow up, and as they entered middle school, Kaga became popular. He didn't leave Tsutsui behind intentionally, never that, but childish things like casual friendships were shelved. Kaga's bright and burning light captivated those who met him, and Tsutsui, as was his nature, faded into the background, only to emerge when Kaga went too far.

  


Tsutsui was the only one unafraid of him, because he knew what Kaga was like. Kaga had a terrible temper, but even the worst storms would subside into a calm sea.

  


And when Kaga did sometimes go too far, using his forceful personality to get what he wanted, it would be up to the class nerd, the quiet kid who everyone teased, to get up and confront him. Kaga would mock him, and occasionally rough him up, but Tsutsui would be adamant. Even though he lost constantly to Tsutsui's adamant refusal to be cowed, Kaga would calm down, and there would be peace for a few weeks.

  


Kaga found looking at Tsutsui's face painful, a reminder of how he should be living. They stopped speaking, but always there was a tenuous connection, a sense of waiting. 

  


And that was how their friendship fell into a long slumber, much the way trees lose their leaves during the cold winter.

  


Spring came for them, though, in the form of a sixth grader who dragged them into Go together. Tsutui loved the game above all else, having many fond memories of shared games with Kaga before Kaga quit, but Kaga hated it. To him, Go was a symbol of failure, a sign that he would never be good enough in his father's eyes. Kaga had abandoned it, like he abandoned everything that became too difficult, for shogi, because shogi was easy for him. Many things were easy for Kaga, and he never had to take the hard route because easier ones were always available to someone with his gifts.

  


Still, Shindou Hikaru somehow forced Kaga to examine the game he claimed to hate, and Kaga realized that he, too, loved it. It had been too much a part of his life to give up.

  


It was at the tournament, with Tsutsui sitting by his side, carefully laying out moods according to a joseki book that Kaga felt settled for the first time in years. A part of the restlessness that had plagued him melted away like snow in the warm sunlight, and he smiled a bit, an honest smile.

  


He should have taken up Tsutsui's offer to join the Go Club after the tournament, but he was too proud. Kaga had made a mistake by leaving Go, and he couldn't admit it to anyone.

  


Tsutsui, though, gave him a kind smile, as though he understood exactly what he was thinking. Instead, he quietly asked if they could play together, sometime.

  


That weekend, they went to a Go salon, feeling so much older than they had before. Neither had been to one before, always believing them to be the territory of old men. But now they saw it merely as a haven where they could renew the friendship which had been stretched so thin.

  


They met once a week at irregular intervals, always ready to talk over the games they played. Kaga's skills were rusty from disuse, but he always won, being more creative and daring than the by-the-book Tsutsui. Both of them knew that Tsutsui would never win an even game, but that wasn't the point.

  


Kaga had grown in the years since they had played together, and though his temper still flared, all it would take was a look from Tsutsui to calm him down. Tsutsui's voice was on the quiet side, so he had to listen carefully if he wanted to hear what the other boy was saying.

  


And he did.

  


Tsutsui spoke of trivial things, of homework and exam anxiety, and also his concern for Shindou, who seemed to be one of the most erratic players he had ever heard of. Kaga understood the fascination, but didn't realize how extreme it was until Shindou wanted to take the insei exams.

  


He had been running from his shogi advisor, and come upon a stressed atmosphere in the Go Club room. Seeing the tenseness, he challenged Shindou to an impossible test, a way to show him that he belonged in the Go Club. He honestly expected the kid to lose.

  


Instead, he lost Tsutsui his club when Shindou managed to defeat both Mitani and Tsutsui and still giving Kaga himself a good game. 

  


Tsutsui, though, didn't see it like that. Tsutsui was depressed, feeling he had failed as a senpai. Shindou wouldn't be able to make it in the professional world - many people had dreams like that, but few succeeded.

  


Kaga, though, was the one who held hope. He remembered the Kaio games.

  


Somehow, his hope conveyed itself to Tsutsui, who perked up, seeming to remember how to laugh. They eagerly talked of following their friend's career when he became a pro, laughing about saying that they would each be able to one day brag about beating the Meijin.

  


But Tsutsui's laughter was a painful to Kaga sometimes, who realized that shortly their paths would be separating. Tsutsui would be going to a public high school, while his father would be sending him to a private one. He wished that he could capture these moments and hold them forever.

  


Time flowed onwards, and finally it was the day before graduation. Kaga knew that things between them would never be the same, because he would be going to one of the best private schools in the city, while Tsutsui had been forced to go to a public one due to family finances. 

  


The day was bright and brilliant, but Kaga felt a lump of lead in his stomach. He wanted to stop the clock, and remain here forever...

  


Or at least remain with Tsutsui.

  


Tsutsui, though, spent the last moments before leaving talking to the members of the Go Club he had constructed, wishing them luck. Kaga smiled as Shindou thanked him, but his eyes remained on his best friend, wondering why things had to change.

  


It was a while before he was able to draw Tsutsui away, and wrap a companionable arm around his shoulders. Tsutsui was still slight, but his growth spurt was finally coming on and Kaga knew that Tsutsui would grow into a tall and graceful young man.

  


That day Tsutsui's parents were planning on taking him out on a congratulatory dinner, so Kaga knew his time was limited. He spoke of future plans and made half-promises to meet in the future, but Tsutsui practically pointed out the difference in their futures. It would be a while before they met again, and both knew it. When they did, neither would be the same person, and Kaga was afraid he wouldn't recognize his gentle yet strong friend who was so much a part of his identity.

  


He felt like he was watching a sunset, and Tsutsui fade into the glorious dark night, a beautiful memory that would warm him when he felt alone. The knowledge that somewhere in the world, Tsutsui was continuing to live in his own quiet, determined fashion would have to be enough to keep Kaga going.

  


"I'll be seeing you, Tsutsui," Kaga said. 

  


Tsutsui slipped away, and gave him a sad smile. "Someday, maybe," he replied.

  


Tsutsui clutched his diploma tightly in one hand before offering Kaga an awkward wave with the other, before turning to walk away without a backward glance. Soon Tsutsui was out of sight, and all that was left was the lengthening day.

  


Kaga remained motionless, wondering if Tsutsui had been a dream... and if there was anyway to go back to sleep. 


	7. Degree of Separation

Aishuu Offers:

Degree of Separation

mbsilvana@yahoo.com

~ A Hikaru no Go Fic ~

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata.

Note: For Akira's birthday. No romance.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


"Touya-san?"  


The soft, feminine voice startled him from his shock as his stood rooted to the spot where he had been left behind when Shindou had run away from him.  


Again.  


He took a deep breath, trying to reorient himself, but his thoughts were still jumbled with Shindou's revelation.  


Shindou didn't intend on coming back.   


Touya's fists clenched at his side, as he tried to force himself to keep from panicking. They had made a scene in the library, he knew, but the idea...  


How could Shindou think he wasn't any good? How could he, when everything Touya had done since meeting him had been to keep ahead, fearing and half-hoping for the day they would meet again? How could Shindou deny his own skill, deny his own love for the game?  


"Touya-san?"  


The voice came from behind him again, clearer and most insistent, and he turned around, wondering who was talking.  


The girl was standing there, the one who he had seen hanging out with Shindou in the Go Club. She shuffled back and forth on her feet, apparently nervous, but there was determination in her expression, in spite of the way she modestly avoided meeting his eyes directly.  


He couldn't remember her name.  


"Um...?"  


She seemed a bit amused that he didn't know her, a slight smile tugging at her lips. "Fujisaki Akari. I grew up with Hikaru," she informed him.   


He nodded to her, a bit confused at what she wanted. He had only seen her a few times - but then again, he had only met Shindou a few times, as well. "Is there something I can do for you?" he asked politely.  


"I followed you to the library," she confessed, and her expression looked embarrassed, still looking a bit awkward as she toyed with her empty hands, trying to find something to do with them.  


He was familiar with the habit, well aware of how he tended to tug on his collar or cuffs when he didn't have anything else to occupy his fingers with. He felt his own embarrassment rise as he realized she must have seen the whole exchange he had shared with Shindou.  


"Oh." He couldn't think of anything else to say. He wasn't used to dealing with people away from the goban, and his social skills were well below what they should be.  


Fujisaki stared at him, biting her lip with white teeth as she seemed to think about how to phrase her next question. "I... I feel really stupid asking this, since you don't really know me, but... are you okay?"  


He blinked once, twice, trying to process the odd question from a near stranger, but after a moment, he realized that if she knew Shindou, then she had some idea of their rivalry. And that if Shindou had quit... it would be affecting his rival as well. "I... I don't know," he said honestly, surprised into the truth. "What's happening to Shindou?" he asked.  


Her head hung down, and long brown hair shielded her face. "I don't know," she admitted. "But I haven't known for years, so that's nothing new." When she looked up again, there was no bitterness in her gaze. Instead, there was acceptance, and that stung.  


He was surprised at how horribly guilty he felt. He had never considered that Shindou had other people worried about him; he had been too obsessed with finally getting to play their game, and solving the mystery behind Shindou's strength.   


What was Shindou's life like, outside of Go?   


"I'm sorry," he said, apologizing for everything he possibly could.  


"It's not your fault. Hikaru's always had a mind of his own." She looked around, and she shifted on her feet again. "Did he tell you anything?"  


"He said he's no good," Touya admitted painfully, his hands fisting at his sides even more tightly, his knuckles turning white from lack of blood. The idea was ludicrous - if Shindou was no good, what had Akira been chasing these past few years?  


Fujisaki gasped, a hand rising to cover her mouth. "Hikaru..." she whispered, and then she sighed, something that seemed to come from deep inside of her. "What happened?" she said this time, and the rhetorical question hung between the two of them, unanswerable.   


The silence extended for a long minute, before Fujisaki looked around a bit nervously. He didn't think he was that threatening, but he seemed to make most people uneasy. "What will you do, if he doesn't come back?"  


That question had been preying on Touya's mind ever since Shindou had started missing games. He needed the presence of his rival as much as he needed his father's guidance, and without Shindou, he wasn't sure what would keep him motivated. "I don't know."  


He seemed to be saying that too often now. Shindou always confused him, but Shindou had, at least, always had passion for what he was doing. Seeing him with his head buried in his arms, looking like a person who had been drained by life, was wrong. Shindou was vibrant. The person he had just seen - wasn't the Shindou he had known.  


"I'm sure he'll come back," the girl said hastily. "He did a lot of work to catch up to you, and he loves Go."  


"Yes, but he loves being confusing even more," Touya muttered, running a hand through his hair.  


There was another of those uncomfortable silences, which the girl finally decided to fill in. "I started to play Go because of him. I didn't know anything about the game, but I learned because he loved it so much." For the first time, their eyes met directly, and he was impressed at the directness in her gaze, and the strength there. "Hikaru was chasing you, Touya, and I think I started chasing him, because I was scared I was going to lose him."   


"He gave up," Touya said softly. "Maybe the chase was too hard."  


"No! You obviously don't know him at all! He never gives up, no matter how hard it is!" Akari snapped, and suddenly the demure girl Touya had been talking to was a creature of memory. "You don't know what he sacrificed! You don't know what I-" she cut off, and a blush came to her cheeks. "Hikaru must have had some good reason to stop..." she said. "And it's hurting him..." Tears started to form at the corner of her eyes, but she refused to shed them.  


_It__'s hurting us, too, _Touya thought, staring at the girl who probably knew Shindou better than anyone else. "He'll grow for it. When he comes back, he'll be a better player," Touya assured her, hating to see her pain. As he spoke, he realized that in offering her comfort, he could find some himself.  


A tremulous smile came to her lips. "You... think he's going to be back?"  


Touya felt the late spring air, heavy with promises of summer to come. "I know it," he told her. "As long as we believe in him, he'll be back."


	8. Not a Pretty Girl

Aishuu Offers:  
  
Not a Pretty Girl  
  
~ A Hikaru no Go oneshot ~   
  
mbsilvana@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata.  
  
When I was ten, my aunt made me face up to a harsh reality.   
  
I was fat. And I would probably be fat for the rest of my life.  
  
There weren't any pleasant euphemisms with Tokiko-obaasan... she called a spade a spade, and a fat girl a fat girl.  
  
"Masako-chan, there's not much you can do about it. You're fat. I'm fat. Your mother's fat. Every woman in our family is fat. It's genetic."  
  
I wanted to try those diets that I saw on TV, the ones that advertised miraculous weight loss and new lives, but my aunt had laughed at that.   
  
"Do you know what will happen?" she had asked me.  
  
I had shaken my head.  
  
"Your weight will start yo-yoing as you go off the diet, and in the end, you'll weigh even more. The best thing you can do is eat sensibly, and try to keep from becoming obese. It's better to be 'pleasantly plump' than obese."  
  
That didn't make life any easier.  
  
All around me, most of the girls were tiny and small, petite and Japanese. I was round and large, and I had the grace of a beached whale. I didn't like it - I wanted to be one of the ones who managed could wear all the cute clothing, and look like it fit me the way it should. But cute clothes weren't designed for ten year olds who were already wearing adult sizes, and life didn't work like that.  
  
Tokiko-obaasan said one other thing that helped me that night.  
  
"You know those stories about how the homely girl with the good personality comes out ahead of the beautiful girl who's nasty?"  
  
I had nodded, fascinated. Was this where she told me that my great personality would help?  
  
"Don't believe them. The world likes beautiful people, and you're not one. And sometimes the beautiful people are nice, too. Masako-chan, life isn't fair, but we deal with what fate we're dealt. Don't let it make you bitter - just remember that you are special, and that someone will love you for it. The pretty girls might be loved for their looks, but those looks will fade eventually. The fat girls usually have a better love, if they can find it."  
  
"Will it all come out fair in the end?"  
  
"Hell no. Life isn't fair."  
  
My mother had yelled at her for swearing in front of me, but I learned to be grateful for her bluntness. She prepared me for how tough life can be.  
  
***  
  
People liked me.   
  
That was an undeniable fact - I was likable, because I tried to be nice to everyone. I didn't deny the fact that things could have been better, were I thin, but I was generally happy. I was a good student, and my stocky frame carried muscles that made me a good athlete as well.  
  
All in all, life was pretty good. Then I got dragged into Go Club, and I met him.  
  
It happened like this.  
  
Shindou Hikaru was a kid in my class who was rapidly gaining a reputation for being a bit... odd. He'd talk to himself sometimes, and he adored Go. Still, he was nice, and I liked him.  
  
The problem was that he was determined to get a Go club off the ground, and to do that, he needed players. So he spent a lot of time wandering around school, trying to persuade them to join, with little success.  
  
"Shindou, no one plays Go nowadays," someone was saying to him one day as I was about to go to volleyball practice. "It's for old men. Go is stupid."  
  
I turned my head, waiting to see him explode. Sure enough, he flushed and went after the person who dare attack his beloved game. "Go is the ultimate game! It's lasted for thousands of years, and it'll be around long after you're dust! You just don't like it because you're too stupid "  
  
For some reason, I decided to cut in before Shindou could dig his own grave. "It takes time to learn, but it's worth it," I said, agreeing.  
  
Shindou's head snapped around, and his eyes lit up as he forgot the person who he had been angry at the moment before.  
  
"You play?" he asked eagerly.  
  
"Sure." That was true. I had played with my grandfather, before he had died, and was actually pretty decent.  
  
"That's GREAT!" Shindou said. Before I knew it, he was dragging me down the hall, and I sputtered in a bit of anger, trying to keep from tripping over my own feet.  
  
"Where are we going?" I demanded.  
  
"The Go Club!" he told me.  
  
Just my luck, to be taken along with a Go otaku, I thought.  
  
He slammed the door open happily, and when he announced that I would be the new member, a third year student gently corrected him, pointing out that I wasn't a guy, so I wouldn't be a viable member of their team.  
  
Then Shindou suggested they dress me up like one.  
  
As if!  
  
I stormed out, proclaiming that volleyball was my top priority.  
  
But the seed was planted.  
  
***  
  
It had been a while since I had played Go, but I felt the urge to begin again, especially when I heard that Shindou was going to be taking the insei test. It was hard to believe that the loud, boisterous kid who sat three chairs over from me was going to be attempting to become a Go professional. It was amazing that Shindou thought he was that good, but if he was able to, I was looking forward to having the chance to play him.  
  
It only took another small push to make me decide to go ahead with it. The push came in the form of Fujisaki Akari.  
  
When a girl with long brown hair approached me, she seemed a bit nervous. "Excuse me, Kaneko-san, but you said that you would be willing to play in go tournaments...."  
  
I blinked, trying to remember her. Haze Junior High was large enough so that I didn't know everyone on sight, but she was familiar, the way that a neighbor who you wave at without ever formally meeting is.  
  
"I guess," I said. I seemed to recall saying something to that effect.  
  
She gave me a huge smile, and I realized that she was one of the beautiful girls my aunt had talked about. Grabbing my hand, her eyes shimmered as she pleaded with me. "There's going to be a tournament at Kaio, and we want to enter. Kumiko-chan is willing to play, but we need someone else. Um... how good are you?"  
  
I wasn't sure of my exact kyu rating, but I took a wild guess. "Fifteen kyu, maybe, twelve? I never really bothered figuring it out. I just played with my grandparents, and they were both really good."  
  
She clapped her hands happily. "You're a lot better than we are. Would you be our first board?" There was no embarrassment in her honest statement, just enthusiasm for the possibility of gaining a strong player for her team.  
  
I blinked again, figuring out the Go Club was really bad. Still, I had agreed and it sounded like fun. I hadn't played since my grandparents had died, but I had always been fond of the game. "Sure. When's the tournament?"  
  
"Two weeks from Sunday," she said. "If you come to Go Club sometime, I can give you more information."  
  
I thought on my schedule, and realized that while I had time to show up for the tournament, coming to club would be difficult, considering my already existing obligations to my volleyball team. "I'll see if I can get some time off of volleyball for practice, but if I'm not, I'll go to Kaio that Sunday. Um... you never told me your name?"  
  
She blushed, embarrassed by her social faux pas. "I'm sorry. I'm Fujisaki Akari."  
  
"It's nice to meet you, Fujisaki-san," I told her.  
  
"It's so nice of you to agree!" she said enthusiastically.  
  
I went to Kaio Junior High, as promised, and was horribly humiliated when we lost. I hated to lose, but even more so, I knew it was my own fault, since I hadn't practiced at all, and my game was a bit off balance because I was out of practice.  
  
Go needs to be practiced, to do well.  
  
Kanzaki and Tsuda Kumiko weren't bothered, though, apparently thrilled at just having the experience. They chattered happily about their games, and how thrilling it had been to play other players as equals, even though they had each been crushed. It brought a smile to my face, to realize they had had that much fun. I liked each of them, as well, since both were kind and treated me as a valuable friend, even though they barely knew me. There are nice people in the world, and they were two of them.  
  
It was that game that was the catalyst for me joining the club completely. It preyed on my mind, knowing I could have done better, had I only kept my skills up, and I thought on how there would be another tournament in the summer, one which I would probably be first board again at. I did not want a repeat - which meant that I needed to get practice.  
  
So I made time to stop into the Go club - and that's when I met him.  
  
*  
  
Most people would think that meeting Mitani Yuuki wasn't that big a deal, and they would be right. Mitani is a sulky, rude brat, and he delighted in his own arrogance. But I was drawn to him, and I think that's when my heartbreak began.  
  
I declared that I was his rival, and watched him fume. It was fun, really, to see such a good player get annoyed over you. His cheeks flushed, and it idly crossed my mind that he was kind of cute.  
  
But I didn't have a crush on him - not then. Tokiko-obaasan had made me cautious; the fat girl was always the best friend, never the beloved. Mitani was the kind of boy who would fall for a pair of pretty eyes and slender figure, anyway.  
  
Well - that's what I tell myself. I actually probably fell in love with him immediately, because I realized what was going on, and you can't stop your heart.  
  
We fought constantly, and he kept coming back for more, even though he wasn't an official member of the go club. He had quit before I had joined, but he showed up just as regularly as any of us, saying that he was just looking for a game.  
  
It was one of those issues that you knew better than to press, because Mitani was a walking time bomb. He'd fume at the very mention of Shindou, and whenever we tried to actually get him to admit that he'd play in any tournaments, he'd start yelling.  
  
Until Akari gave him puppy eyes.  
  
That was the trick. Mitani was head-over-heels in love with Akari, in an awkward, teenage fashion, and I found myself falling in love with him. What made it worse was that Akari was in love with Shindou The thing that would have made it truly Shakespearean would have been for Shindou to have been in love with me, but I wasn't the kind of girl that guys fell in love with.  
  
Life didn't work out smoothly. Shindou wasn't about to wake up and realize that he loved Akari, and let Mitani have his hopes broken honestly. No, Shindou was too dense to know.  
  
So we languished. I wanted Mitani, he wanted Akari, and she wanted Shindou, who only wanted Go.  
  
Perhaps I should have confessed, and had my heart handed back to me, but Mitani wasn't the kind of boy you confessed to. He wouldn't know how to deal with hurting someone, and even though he pretended to be nasty, I knew that he was kind.  
  
But it's kindness that can kill you, just the same.  
  
Over a year past like that, with us in that kind of limbo. And then graduation day came, and we were off... and things were settled, just like that.  
  
Mitani was in a rush to leave, and never come back. He hated school, but he was good at it. He was good at most things, and I wondered where he was going for high school. We hadn't sat through entrance exams yet, but I knew he'd probably be going.  
  
I caught him outside the school gates, hotfooting it toward the nearest train station. Not for him was all the celebration that came with finally completing middle school, and I was a bit wistful about that. It would have been fun to celebrate with him - but I couldn't change him, and I wouldn't. I liked him the way he was.  
  
"Mitani-kun!" I called, clutching my certificate in one hand and a bag in another.   
  
Mitani had already managed to ditch his uniform jacket, and his eyes coolly looked over me. They weren't dismissive, but they weren't welcoming, either. "Yo, Kaneko," he said informally, and I was relieved that he paused long enough for me to fall into step beside him.  
  
I smiled at him, feeling my heart in my chest. This was the moment I had been waiting for... the time when I had him to myself to confess. "What are you going to do now?" I asked.  
  
He shrugged. "I've been accepted at Haze High School," he said, and scuffed his feet a bit.  
  
I felt my hope plummet. "Isn't that where Fujisaki is going?"  
  
"I didn't ask," he told me. "You?"  
  
"Toriyama," I told him.   
  
"That's a private school," he said.  
  
"I'm surprised you know it. It's a boarding school," I said. Even though it was located in Tokyo, my parents had decided that I would board.   
  
"You should have a good time," he said, and the silence stretched between us awkwardly.   
  
He was heading in the opposite way of where I needed to go, but I went with him. "Mitani..." I couldn't find the words to say.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Are you going to keep playing Go?"  
  
He blinked once, before a slow, lazy smile spread across his lips. "Nothing could stop me. I'm still going to beat Shindou," he said.  
  
It was ridiculous, and we both knew it. Shindou was well on his way to being one of the top young pros. "I'm still going to beat you first," I told him, smiling at him.  
  
"No, you're not."  
  
The next words just slipped out. "Of course I am. And when I do, you're going to take me out on a date."  
  
He stumbled, before spinning around to face me. "W-what?"  
  
"You heard me," I said, feeling shaken but unable to back away now. "When I beat you, you're taking me out on a date."  
  
Violet eyes widened in a bit of panic. "Kaneko-"  
  
"Please?" I whispered.  
  
The thing about Mitani is that though he could be incredibly thick, he's not heartless. He seemed to waver for a moment before gruffly shrugging. "When you beat me at two stone, I'll take you where you want to go," he offered, then scowled. "But you're not going to," he tacked on hastily.  
  
"I will!" I replied, clutching my diploma in front of me. "You wait and see!"  
  
There was maybe a hint of amused affection in his expression as he rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Kaneko."  
  
And then he walked off, and I made no move to follow.  
  
I may not be as pretty as Fujisaki, but I'm at least as determined. And someday, I'll beat Mitani at two stone... and even if he doesn't fall in love with me, I'll know I'll have tried my best.  
  
And there's nothing more I can do. 


	9. Two Princes

**Two Princes**  
A Hikago AU verse   
By: aishuu  
Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata created Hikaru no Go.  
Written for 20aus, theme 14. To add and to receive  
Note: Credit to svzinsanity for listening to me and correcting Akari's characterization.

* * *

There were days when she mentally cursed that she'd ever followed Hikaru into his grandfather's attic. It had been against the rules, but Hikaru had smiled at her, teasing her about her lack of courage. She didn't want him to think less of her, so Akari had followed.

Only to find a haunted goban.

She had never seen Hikaru so scared as when she woke up in the hospital. His face, pale and drawn, lacked the animation she associated with him. He had held her hand tightly, promising that he'd be a better friend, just as long as she promised not to scare him like that.

She had been touched, wondering if he was on the verge of finally admitting he _liked_ her, liked her. There had been times she'd dreamt of what it'd be like to have him as a boyfriend. In her childish mind, she had wondered what a kiss would be like.

When she'd returned home that night, she'd been bubbling with feelings of hope and possibility. Going up to her room, she'd sighed dreamily as she started to prepare for bed – but the ghost of Sai had reappeared before her, proving that he hadn't been a hallucination. 

Meeting Sai had shaken her foundations. She hadn't really believed in ghosts, but when confronted with the reality of a 1,000 year old Go master, she'd accepted it practically. It was either that or seek therapy for insanity, and no twelve-year-old girl would do that willingly. 

She found she liked him, and his strange fascination for the board game, but it had taken a while for them to come to a relatively peaceful coexistence. He may have been a ghost, but he was still male, and there were some things a girl didn't want to share. He kept his eyes carefully closed when she got dressed, and in turn she learned to play Go. 

She hadn't anticipated finding the game interesting, but it was. There was a complexity to the patterns and the board always looked so pretty after a game had been completed. She'd bought a cheap, portable goban out of her allowance, and they would play for hours late into the evening. Sai would have her recreate games he had played in the past, using names of people who history had never recorded. To him, they were old friends. To her, they were stories. 

Eventually he'd become restless, and when he wasn't content, he tended toward nagging. Wasn't there someplace he could play someone? He asked, and his tone was so wistful that she hadn't been able to deny him. She promised she would find someplace else for him to play. 

It was her first year in Haze Junior High, and she was still trying to get used to the uniform. Hikaru had told her it didn't look bad on her (at least in a backhanded compliment fashion when he said she looked better in the horrible thing than the rest of the girls in their class), but she still felt like a child trying to play at being older. Sai hadn't been much help, not understanding how the female mind worked. 

Dressed in her new clothes, she had ventured into a Go salon. She chose it because it looked relatively clean and was located in a well-known commercial building. Some Go salons had shady reputations, but the clientele in this one was more upscale. 

The woman who saw her there had quirked an eyebrow, asking if she could help. Akari had blushed and stammered a bit before saying she was looking for someone to play. She wasn't sure how good she was, but she'd been practicing on her own, she explained. 

The woman had glanced to her side, biting her lip indecisively, before calling for someone. That someone was Touya Akira. 

For one second, she'd wondered if he was a girl before she noticed he was wearing the exclusive uniform of Kaiou. His hair was worn in a long bob, brushing against his cheeks as he walked toward her. The reason she'd question his gender was the fine features of his face, too pretty to be called anything but androgynous. 

The woman quickly explained the situation, and Touya-kun had agreed to play. He was already a professional player, he told her, and he'd be happy to help her learn. She blushed a bit, accepting graciously. 

Touya-kun had been so patient with her as Sai guided her hands. Sai had taught her how to place the stones properly, but her hands shook as she listened hard to the coordinates. This game was way above her skill level, she could quickly tell, because Touya-kun was very, very good. 

But Sai was better. 

She couldn't believe it when Touya-kun murmured his resignation. His head fell forward, and he stared at the board in shock before he cradled his face. She had never seen a boy cry, and it scared her. She had never been intentionally rude, but she had run away then, apologizing for hurting his feelings. 

He found her the next day. When her classes let out, he was waiting by the school's gate. He demanded a rematch, and she agreed. 

Sai won that game, too. 

It became a daily ritual. She would meet Touya-kun at his father's salon, and they would play – or he would play with Sai. This thrilled Sai, since Touya-kun just kept getting better. Akari wasn't sure what she thought of it, because it wasn't really her playing. She was just the conduit for Sai. 

Touya-kun wanted her to take the pro exam, but she couldn't bring herself to. It wouldn't be fair for the others who worked hard at learning Go; it would be cheating. She declined each time Touya-kun brought the topic up. 

She wished there was someone she could speak to about the situation. Sai was happy with playing Go, and Hikaru wouldn't understood. He was wound up in soccer and his team, and he'd always been bad at listening to her. He'd babble on and on about manga and video games and the latest music, expecting her to keep pace with him. She'd always been the follower in their friendship, and now that she had her own life, she was afraid they were growing apart. She didn't want to lose him. 

Touya-kun was polite and intense, always courteous and quietly attentive. He treated her like she deserved his respect. He was smart and always thoughtful – in short, he was everything Hikaru was not. However, he never seemed to acknowledge she was a girl, thinking of her as his rival. 

And she wasn't. She recognized it during that summer, when they played Go all day one Saturday. Touya-kun stared at the board intently after she won yet another game, before thanking her. 

But it wasn't her who deserved his gratitude – it was Sai. For the first time, she realized she was jealous of Sai. She wanted Touya-kun to look at her like that; like she was his entire world and everything hinged on what she would do next. She wanted to be the one who made those decisions, and earn his respect for herself. 

That was when she realized she had a crush on him. 

It was natural enough, except she found she still had that age-old crush on Hikaru. Hikaru, who would make her laugh and tease her playfully. She felt horrible that she liked both of them since that wasn't the way it was supposed to be. A girl was supposed to find true love with the perfect guy, and she vacillated between them. During school, she'd be convinced that Hikaru was her ideal guy, but when it came time to play Touya-kun, she'd think he was the one who deserved her love. 

Sometimes she wished she could introduce Touya-kun to Hikaru. She wasn't sure how'd they would react to each other, but she felt like it might help her make a choice. One offered her a future, while the other held her past. She wanted both of them in her life, but feared she could only have one – and it was a decision she could not make. 


	10. Captures

****

Captures

By Aishuu

Hikaru no Go

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata.

This fits into the same universe as "Two Princes."

* * *

Akari was touched that Hikaru had actually offered to learn how to play Go – until it sunk in that _she_ would be the one teaching him.

Hikaru wasn't stupid, but he was flighty. She'd tried tutoring him in the past, and had only learned that he probably had a case of ADHD. When he was interested in something, he was capable of a focus which surpassed even Touya's dedication to Go, but it was rare for him to find something that entrancing. He flitted from interest to interest, with soccer, manga and video games the only constants in his life. It was impossible to keep his attention on anything else.

She'd gritted her teeth and invited him over to her house on a Sunday in November. It had been quite a while since he'd last come over – since her fifteenth birthday party in May – and she felt nervous about having him in her room. Her room was her space, and inviting him in felt amazingly intimate considering they'd been growing apart ever since she'd met Sai.

Looking around, her eyes fell critically on her bookshelf. She had hardly any manga, since she spent most of her free time playing Go with Sai or Touya. The books she did possess were mainly history or Go oriented. She was fascinated by the Heian and Meiji periods, since Sai would tell her stories about the people he'd known. Sometimes she had a hard time imagining that Sai had known all those people who were just names in history books to her. His stories were always so filled with life, and he reminded her of a gossiping schoolgirl. She was thinking of becoming a history teacher, or maybe classical literature, thanks to him. Sometimes she'd wonder if she should try to become a Go pro, like Touya, but she realized that wouldn't make her happy. She wanted an ordinary life.

There was nothing wrong with the way Sai was leading her, but sometimes she felt out of touch with the rest of her peers. There were no anime posters, no pictures of idol groups. It just didn't look like a girl's room. She sighed as she tried to dismiss the familiar ache.

"Is something wrong, Akari?" Sai asked. Over time, he'd become accustomed to gauging her moods. He was usually very considerate of her emotions, which she was thankful for most of the time. Then there were moments like this, when she wanted to be left alone in her moodiness.

"No, not really," she said, feeling guilty for ever feeling resentment toward Sai. He had given her so much; there weren't many girls who always had a tried-and-true best friend. "It's just… well, I never thought I'd end up like this."

"Like what?" His eyes studied her with concern as he raised the fan to block her sight of his face. All she could see was his pale eyes, giving her no gauge to judge how he was feeling.

She was used to being honest with him, so she told him the truth. "Sometimes I don't feel like a girl," she said, waving a hand around her neat room. "I spend more time playing Go than anything else, which is fine, but sometimes I feel like I'm missing something."

"Missing something?" Sai echoed, distressed but not understanding her concern. For Sai, as long as their was Go, nothing could possibly be wrong.

"Girl things," she said. "I… sometimes don't feel very much like a normal girl."

"I'm afraid I can't help you there," Sai said softly.

"It's okay," she said. "I wouldn't change anything." She was stretching the truth, for as much as she loved Sai, she sometimes wished that she was more ordinary. Akari knew that all the wishing in the world wouldn't change something, so she didn't make it an issue.

She spent most of the morning cleaning, trying to make sure the place was presentable. She hid the box of tampons she usually left on her dresser, and checked her desk for anything embarrassing. She was a neat person by nature, and her room required little cleaning, but she kept finding things to rearrange. She knew she was being ridiculous, since this was Hikaru and he was supposed to be her best friend, but she couldn't help herself. Thankfully, she heard the doorbell ring five minutes before one.

Hikaru was early. That shouldn't have surprised her, since he had a very lax concept of time. He was prone to arriving early or late to appointments, but she'd never known him to be exactly on time. It was just one of those quirks she'd grown accustomed to. She opened her door to head down the stairs to greet him, but hesitated slightly as she heard the unmistakable sound of her mother's voice welcoming Hikaru.

"Hikaru-kun! I haven't seen you in a while," her mother said, and the warmth in her voice carried to the top landing Akari had paused on. Neither of them could see her, and she waited to see how he would reply. "Goodness, have you gained a couple centimeters?"

"Five," he replied proudly. "I'm taller than Akari now." His voice sounded deeper than she remembered it, even though they had spoken on Friday. Although his voice was still relatively high for a man, Hikaru didn't sound like a young boy anymore. "It's nice to see you again, Fujisaki-san."

Her mother laughed. "You can put your coat in the closet, and I'll make sure I bring you some snacks. Are you staying for dinner?"

She heard the rustling of fabric as Hikaru obeyed her mother's order. "Can't," Hikaru answered. "My dad's coming home early and my mom wants to do the whole family bit."

"That's too bad. There's always a place for you, so come over anytime," her mother invited.

Akari wasn't sure why that made her blush. She decided it would be best if she hurried to keep her mother from embarrassing her. "Hikaru?" she called as she descended the stairs. Her mother looked at her, winked, and made a quick exit. She heard Sai snicker behind her, and she ignored him with the grace of practice.

Hikaru smiled at her with the cute grin that made all their female classmates coo. "Yo Akari," he said, waving a hand before shoving it in a front pocket. He wore jeans and a black and yellow sweatshirt emblazoned with the logo of his favorite J League team. The blond in his hair looked especially bright, which meant he'd probably dyed it recently.

"I've got the goban set up in my room," she said. She gestured for him to follow her.

She felt his presence behind her as they took the stairs. Glancing back, she noticed Sai was standing at Hikaru's side wearing a serene expression. She never liked it when Sai looked like that, since it indicated he was thinking of something he didn't want to tell her.

Opening her door, she waved for him to proceed her. She had placed the goban on the floor and dragged out mats for them to sit on. She rarely bothered with them, since Sai didn't need them, and she preferred to lean against her bed.

She watched as Hikaru's eyes darted around her room quickly. "Take a seat," she invited. Akari shut the door behind her, but left it open a crack. She didn't want her mother to worry that they were getting "up to something."

"Where?"

"Either place is fine," she said. She felt awkward just standing there, but she forced herself to not fidget.

Hikaru took the seat that faced the door, sitting down cross-legged. She sank into the free space quickly, sitting seiza without thinking about it. Sai had said that proper posture was important for a player since it helped put them in the right frame of mind.

Akari stared across the board into Hikaru's bright green eyes, feeling her breath catch. It was strange, and a part of her felt a bit treacherous. This was muddling the lines she'd taken such care to draw with her life; Go had always been separate from Hikaru, and she wondered if she was betraying Touya by teaching Hikaru to play.

"So, um, where do we start?" Hikaru asked.

"How much do you know?" she asked. "I mean, has your grandfather tried to teach you at all?" She wished she'd given more thought on how to teach him.

Hikaru snorted and rolled his eyes. "He says I'm not patient enough to learn," he said.

"How about you start with the capturing stones game?" Sai suggested. "Or you could explain about the game's history and the theory behind it? Or you can show him the game you and Akira played yesterday…" She watched him wave his fan enthusiastically out of the corner of her eye.

She mentally asked Sai to quiet down. She had been hoping he would be in one of his more serious moods, but unfortunately it seemed he was going to be childish, dancing around and offering advice on how she should teach Hikaru. She didn't want him to distract her.

"Well, how about I teach you how to capture stones?" she asked.

"Sounds good," he said. He looked at the go ke uncertainly. "Does the color matter?"

"The more experienced player usually takes white since it's harder to win with," Akari answered. They had to switch go kes, and she almost jerked in reaction as their fingers brushed.

She started to explain the rules of Go, making sure to point out that the point was to capture territory, not the opponent's pieces. Sai was babbling in her ear, eager to help her teach. He liked Hikaru, although there had been times when Hikaru's casual disregard for Go had incensed him. Still, Hikaru was always cheerful, and not even the legendary Go master could take real offense to what was an innocent boy's carelessness.

"It sounds complicated," Hikaru said after she completed her explanation.

"Once you learn how to play, it becomes easier," she said. "I don't think everyone ever learns everything about Go, but that's part of what makes it interesting." She smiled, and set one of the stones down next to the upper right star. "Try to capture it," she said.

Hikaru didn't look convinced. He dug into his stones before grabbing one of the slate pieces between his finger and thumb, setting it down on the board on the star. She heard Sai chuckle, and couldn't keep from giggling herself.

"What?" Hikaru asked in an annoyed voice.

"You're not holding the stones right," Akari said, calming herself down. The last thing she wanted to do was chase him away by embarrassing him. Hikaru could be touchy.

"You're supposed to hold them a certain way?" Hikaru sounded utterly baffled. "I didn't think they were fragile or anything…"

Akari rolled her eyes, before pulling out a stone – properly – and setting it into place above his stone. "You use your middle and index fingers," she said.

He tried again, growling as the stone slipped from his awkward grasp. She waited patiently as he retrieved the stone from the carpet and tried to set it down. It wobbled precariously, and she smiled. "That's a little better," she said in an encouraging tone, "but you need to make sure you set it down firmly so it stays in place."

She demonstrated again, glad that her hands didn't shake. Hikaru tried again, and the stone slid from his fingers. He growled softly in frustration as he picked it up again. Akari's patience faded into amusement as he kept trying. It was amusing that such a talented athlete couldn't master such a simple skill.

"Here, let me help you…" she said, capturing his hand in her own before she thought on it. Hikaru stilled at the unexpected intimacy, looking up from the board and into her face. His hands were warm, she thought inanely. "Um, well, if you squeeze the stone like this…" she moved his fingers a bit, "you'll have better control." She wondered if the room was getting hot.

Hikaru listened without comment until she pulled her hands away. Then he followed her instructions, placing a stone firmly in the middle of the board. He withdrew his hand after a moment, smiling at her proudly. "I did it!" he said with pure delight. The smile that lit his face made her heart ache.

"Yes, you did," she said. "But maybe you should have tried to place it where it would have done you some good?" she suggested, trying not to giggle.

It took a second for Hikaru to figure out what she meant. In his enthusiasm to play a stone the right way, he'd forgotten that he was supposed to try to capture her stone. "Well, damn," Hikaru said, burying his face in his hands.

She couldn't help it. Her giggles swelled into laughter, and the tension she'd been feeling washed away. She laughed, and in a few moments, Hikaru joined in. She forgot about worrying about what might be, indulging in the moment. Behind her, she heard Sai sigh with exasperation, which only caused her to laugh harder.

Akari didn't know what the future would bring; if she would end up with Hikaru or Touya-kun or someone she hadn't even met, but she knew she would always have this.


	11. The Stars All Seem to Weep

**The Stars All Seem To Weep**  
_by aishuu  
_  
Note: Heihachi is the name of Hikaru's grandfather.

* * *

Life, to Shindou Heihachi, was not a game of Go, but it should have been. Go was a game, but it had more intricacies than any man had time to learn. It had rules that must be followed, but it was always exciting. It was something that a man could practice, and gain skills in reward. 

Life, he found to his disappointment, had no guidelines. Things didn't always work out the way they should, and sometimes no amount of hard work could fight circumstance. 

He had been born in the mid-30s to a businessman and his wife as their first child. Later a sister had joined his family, but she only lived for two years before a bout of influenza claimed her. It had been before the war, but the family's stoic sorrow had been swept away by the growing tide of conflict that was sweeping through the world. 

He had been too young to understand what was happening. He remembered his parents speaking in hushed voices, but not what they had said. His father had been a soldier, leaving for the war when Heihachi was barely seven. He had not come back.

Heihachi's mother, Akane, had moved them in with her father, returning to her maiden name. The old man was a businessman, and a successful one. He had easily been able to provide for his family, but he had been strict. There had been little affection from the older man, who was a perpetual curmudgeon.

Others had not been so lucky, but the old man had come through the reconstruction period well. He invested wisely, and their family lived with relative comfort, although not too much luxury. He was strict, since life had taught him there were no easy routes.

The only time Heihachi had ever seen his grandfather relax had been while playing Go. He liked to play out on the porch, sitting in the sunlight with one of his crew of friends as they discussed politics and how the world wasn't what it had been, back in the day. Heihachi wasn't sure what "the day" was, but everything sounded like it had been better. 

He couldn't actually remember a time when he hadn't played go. He had vague memories of his father sitting before the goban, smoke for his pipe curling toward the ceiling in wisps as he expounded on some point in philosophy to his young child. His grandfather took over his tutoring after, although the old man lacked the patience to be a really good teacher. Heihachi had supplemented his knowledge with thick kifu books, becoming a good player for someone so young. 

When he had been young, he had briefly toyed with the idea of becoming an insei, but he had been honest enough with himself to understand he was no more than a gifted amateur. Instead, he entered tournaments locally and gained the reputation for being a solid competitor. Occasionally he'd play the pros there, usually with a three-stone handicap.

Heihachi never managed to beat the old man, though, since his grandfather would never allow it. His grandfather frequently played even games with professionals, and there was no way he would give any quarter, not even to his grandson. It was from him that Heihachi learned that nothing was given for free. 

His grandfather had died not long after Heihachi turned eighteen. Later, at the funeral, Heihachi realized he had never once told the old man he had loved him, if not for himself, then for what he had done for his family. It was only the first of many regrets.

His inheritance was enough to complete his schooling, and that's what he did. He went to a decent university, and took a well-paid job as a salary man. It was work, and he didn't like the late evenings, but he did it because he had to. When he was twenty, he married the girl his mother introduced him to. All in all, he led a pretty typical life. He didn't find dissatisfaction with it. When Masao was born, he had known that the picture was complete. 

He spent his nights at the Go parlor, rarely coming home. He brought home a good paycheck, and found his wife affectionate, but always there was the lure of the game. Later on he would be able to admit to himself that he loved the game better than he loved his family, because he had chosen it. Everything else he did because he was supposed to.

Then Kaori died. Their son was barely seven, but the doctors had said that the breast cancer was inoperable. She had been a Nagasaki survivor, although she had never spoken of that day or the bomb's aftermath. She would wake screaming from her sleep sometimes, shaking with tremors that nothing could stop. He wondered if that bomb had claimed her as a victim belatedly.

That left him to raise their son, and he had not done well. He'd always had someone to do the cooking and finances, and he was lost among this strange new world. He didn't like feeling so out of control, and he was resentful and angry that his wife had died. He thought of remarriage, but never found the time to get around to it. 

He coped, since there was no other choice, but he never managed to develop a good relationship with his son. There was always his work, and Masao had done well enough in school that Heihachi didn't need to concern himself. Their meals may not have always tasted wonderful, but there was always food available. Masao may not have worn ironed uniforms, but his clothes were always good. Heihachi made sure his son had the best, since that was all he could do. 

He just never learned to share himself. 

When his son was young, he tried to teach Masao the same love of the game, but his impatience got the better of him. He remembered clicking his fingers to encourage the boy to hurry up. It had backfired; the pressure had only flustered Masao, leading him to make mistakes, which annoyed Heihachi even more than his slowness. 

It was a vicious cycle, and Masao had learned to hate the game. By the time the boy was twelve, he refused to play, which made Heihachi angry. It was a bit before the fad of "bonding time" entered the culture, but he had valued those games. It was the only way he knew how to deal with his son. 

After graduating high school, Masao had moved out, taking a job with a company that dealt with textiles. Heihachi didn't complain, although months went by before he received a new year's card. 

It was five years before Masao met Mitsuko, a quiet woman who would make a good housewife. She knew her duties, and while prone to worrying, she would be ideal for the salary man his son was becoming. She was kind, he thought, and would make a good mother.

He retired not too long after Masao's marriage, and suddenly the days seemed too long. He wished that he was closer to his son, but the chance for them to build a strong relationship had been lost. So he spent his days in the salon, suddenly one of the old men with nothing else in his life. He loved Go, but he knew something was missing. 

When his grandson was born, he had hoped for a second chance. 

Hikaru was so different than Masao and himself. He had an easy charm that made people love him instantly, and he wasn't inclined to think deeply on anything. He'd been the most relaxed baby he'd ever seen, giggling at nothing. Occasionally Mitsuko would let him spend the night. Heihachi looked forward to those times, holding the child in his lap and telling him old tales, the ones he vaguely recalled his mother whispering to him before he slept. 

He'd been thrilled when Hikaru had challenged him to a game. He hoped desperately that his grandson would have the same passion for Go he did, and it would be something they could share. To his disappointment, Hikaru didn't even know how to hold the stones correctly. His movements were awkward and unsure. 

"Why don't you come back in six months?" he asked, not wanting to destroy his grandson's interest in the game, but unable to continue. He'd never been good at shidou-go, since he'd only ever learned to play full out. 

It was more than six months before his grandson returned to challenge him again. Hikaru, like most children, got busy with his own life. Heihachi tried not to let it bother him, since he understood that Hikaru was growing up and had his own concerns. 

He'd wondered for a bit if Hikaru had set Go aside the way he did with many fleeting fancies, but a passing conversation with Mitsuko had reassured him. She had asked him for advice about what to do with Hikaru, since Go had become his obsession and she didn't know what to do with him. 

He had advised patience, since Hikaru was still young. The boy wasn't actually failing anything – in fact his history grades had shown remarkable improvement – so his interest in Go wasn't hurting anything. Mitsuko had agreed with a dubious voice. 

When Hikaru arrived on his doorstep unexpectedly to challenge him to a game, he had been overjoyed – especially when he realized that the boy wanted a goban. He would have bought one for him if he'd just asked, but Hikaru had the spirit of a go player. Nothing could have made him happier. 

Hikaru looked different. His face was starting to lose the baby-fat of his childhood, and he'd grown a couple of inches since his last visit. Heihachi realized with shock that his grandson was now a teenager. Children grew up so fast. 

His appearance wasn't the only thing that had changed. He couldn't believe the improvement in the boy's skill level. Hikaru wasn't good enough to beat him, but Heihachi had enough talent to recognize that his grandson was remarkable. Maybe even a prodigy. 

The boy hadn't won their bet, but he still bought him the goban. He wanted to encourage Hikaru's interest. He hoped that someday they'd be able to share matches, and maybe even compete in a couple of those family tournaments he'd always wanted to go to. 

Mitsuko yelled at him when he bought the goban at Hikaru's request, but he had seen the look in Hikaru's eyes. The spirit of Go had infected him, and Heihachi would support him. 

Masao hadn't been happy about it either. "Hikaru does poorly in school, father," he'd said in one of their infrequent phone conversations. "He doesn't need to get distracted by a silly board game." 

The words had hurt, though Heihachi didn't want to admit that. Instead he had grumped and said that he was entitled to indulge his grandson. 

Sometimes he would wonder how Hikaru was doing with Go, since the boy rarely visited him now. He wouldn't admit to being lonely – he had his friends he met every day in the salon, but the thing he wanted most was another chance to play his grandson. 

When Hikaru joined the insei, he nearly burst with pride. All he could talk about to his friends in the go parlors was his talented grandson. Many humored him, but when Hikaru's picture came out in Weekly Go as one of the new shodans, the others started to listen closely. Having a connection to a pro made them fiercely proud, and they promised to root for him. Hikaru didn't know it, but he already had the firm basis for a fan club, thanks to his grandfather.

When Hikaru stopped playing, Heihachi had counseled patience to Mitsuko. He knew that Hikaru's soul burned with the fire of a real player, someone who understood the inherent depth of the game. He knew that his grandson would return to the game, because the game owned a piece of his soul, just like it owned a bit of Heihachi's. 

He was right, and Hikaru returned to the world of the pros. 

Hikaru was fifteen when he showed up on Heihachi's doorstep for the third time to demand a rematch. Heihachi had known his grandson had probably grown beyond his skill, but pretended offense when the boy offered him a handicap. He had gone into the game knowing he couldn't win, but it was the best game he'd ever played. Heihachi had never enjoyed losing so much, because in the end, he was gaining something even more valuable. 


	12. Everything She Wants

**Everything She Wants**  
_By: aishuu_  
Note: This fits into the Two Princes and Captures universe.

* * *

It was the summer of her first year of high school that her boy problems got completely out of control. She knew that having crushes on both of her close friends wasn't anything a good girl should indulge in, but when a third guy entered her life, she started to feel like a shoujo manga heroine. It was fun to read about, she realized, but it wasn't a fun to actually experience.

Akari had long been used to the routine of visiting the Go parlors. Usually she went to Touya's salon, but some days Sai would request that they go somewhere else to play against new people.

Touya-kun was aware of her habit, and didn't discourage it. Instead he offered her cautionary advice, warning her that certain parlors should be avoided. "Not everyone who plays go is a gentleman," he told her. "Make sure you only go to parlors in good neighborhoods, and don't go to a new one at night."

She had been touched by his concern, assuring him that she would be careful. There had only been one time that a salon had intimidated her, and even though Sai protested, she'd left immediately. She wasn't a stupid girl.

Summer break was too short to do everything she wanted to do. She went shopping with a couple of her friends – the ones she rarely had time to hang out with due to her pursuit of Go – and took a week at the beach with her family. The boys were cute, and many flirted with her, buying her ice cream or sodas, and she had enjoyed the time on the beach, sprawled out in the hot sunlight. Most of all, she enjoyed the time to be _ordinary._ She loved Sai, but resentment was beginning to fester in her heart.

Sai tolerated her activities, knowing that Akari had her own ideas of fun, but she could sense his discontent. He would sit fanning himself, even though he couldn't feel the heat, staring up at the sky. She felt a bit guilty for not indulging his obsession, but it was her life and she wanted to enjoy herself. She knew she was being selfish, but she figured she was entitled.

When they returned to the city, she thanked Sai for his patience with the only thing that mattered; a chance to play against new opponents.

The parlor they visited this time was located ten station stops from her home. She'd heard about it through a couple of Touya's regulars – a place that had good coffee and strong players.

The woman behind the counter raised an eyebrow as Akari stepped the the doorway, a bell announcing her presence ringing in her wake. She recognized the cynically look in the woman's eyes; some schoolgirls liked to attend salons as an attempt to pick up guys. Some recent Weekly Go editions had featured the exciting "new wave" and the "hip" kids involved in it, particularly Touya, whose handsome face was a marketing marvel for the Institute. She'd been pretty amused by it, but Touya was exasperated, pointing out that he was a nerd at heart.

"Student rate, please," she said, pulling out her school I.D. and her wallet.

"Five hundred yen, coffee is extra," the woman replied, and Akari pulled five 100 yen coins to pay. The woman accepted her money, but her eyes were still distrustful.

Akari ignored it, bowing politely before turning to scan the crowd, looking for a likely prospect. She needed a good player that wouldn't be offended to lose to a girl; she'd learned early on that Go parlors had a lot of men with chauvinistic tendencies, and it was best not to upset the apple cart early on.

Sai was bouncing up and down, eager to play. "Challenge him, Akari!" Sai said, pointing his fan toward a teenager who was sitting in a corner alone, placing stones on a goban half-heartedly.

_Him?_ she thought in surprise. He looked like someone who'd been dragged there He dressed in casual yet fashionable clothes, and his hair was stylishly wild. The red-tinted strands hung in his eyes, and she longed to push them back. He was _cute_ she thought, then blushed at her the shallowness of her thoughts.

"He's good," Sai murmured in a voice she'd learned meant he was being serious. "He should give us a good game."

She walked over to the boy, feeling the eyes of the counter woman on her, and knew that she'd been taken for a fan girl. She almost asked Sai to select someone else, but he'd already made up his mind and was stubborn.

"Um, excuse me?" she said, hoping he wouldn't think she was hitting on him.

He looked up, and she noted with surprise that he had pretty eyes. "Yes?" he said, and he looked suspicious, too.

"I... um, well, I'm looking for someone to play. Do you have time for a game?" she asked, hating the slight stutter in her voice.

"Sure," he agreed, and a smile pulled the corners of his lips up. "I'm always willing to play."

She slid into the seat across from him, opening the lid of the nearest go ke to check the stones. White; she preferred playing that, since it was slightly more challenging for Sai. She could feel the spirit's presence at her shoulder, but didn't bother glancing at him.

"What's your kyu?" he asked.

"I've never been officially ranked," Akari demurred, "but I'm very good."

"How many stones would you like?" he asked, taking a different tact.

"You mean a handicap? I don't want one, I want an even game," she replied. This was a familiar ground for her. Her games always started out with a variant of this conversation.

He gave her a dubious look. "Don't think I'm bragging or anything, but I'm a pro. You're going to need a handicap."

"A pro?" Sai practically squealed in joy. Akari ignored him, keeping her focus on the stranger.

"We'll nigiri," she said firmly.

A couple of the customers that were close enough to overhear the conversation snorted. "Trying to hook a boyfriend," she heard one mumble, and she stiffened with suppressed outrage.

_I hate it when they think things like that!_ she thought. _If I was a boy, they'd treat me more seriously._

"Ignore them, Akari," said Sai in a flat voice. "We're here to play. We'll change their minds."

The boy was studying her, squinting thoughtfully before he nodded his agreement. Without conversation, they reached into the go ke to nigiri, which he won. They bowed politely to each other, and then the boy played his first hand.

"5-3," Sai said, and she located the coordinates without hesitation. She and Sai had been playing this way for ages.

Her irritation at the rude insinuations faded, and she lost herself in the flow of the game. She might not play very well herself, but she could see that she was serving as a conduit for someone greater. Every time Sai played, she marveled at the depth of his thought.

Her opponent was good, but not up to Akira's level, much less Sai's. He was more cautious, relying on traditional moves. Here and there Sai murmured in satisfaction as the boy rose to the challenge, but the end result was a foregone conclusion.

"I resign," he said, lowering his head. His eyes were fastened on the board, and he didn't seem to notice the crowd's sudden explosion of conversation. Instead, he studied the final result, before whistling and shaking his head. "I guess that teaches me not to be arrogant, doesn't it?"

"You played very well," she said, shifting in her seat. She always hated the post game talks.

"But you're better," he said. "This keima..." he pointed at a spot in the board where Sai had completely overwhelmed him. "I've never seen anyone play like this. Who are you? Why aren't you a pro?"

She could feel Sai's stare penetrating her back. It was an old issue between them; Sai wanted her to take the test so he could play the best in the nation regularly, but she couldn't sacrifice her entire future for him. "I like Go, but it's not my life," she said. "It's more fun to play between friends than serious competition."

He chuckled and shook his head slightly. "It's too bad, but if that's how you like it. I hope we can play again sometime?"

"Sure!" she said, pulling out her cell phone so she could get him phone number. "Um, what's your name?" she asked, realizing they hadn't been properly introduced.

He looked at her, and the expression in his eyes broke her restraint. She started to giggle, and seconds later he broke into laughter. She liked the warm sound. "I'm Waya Yoshitaka," he said with a grin.

She bobbed her head respectfully. "Fujisaki Akari," she introduced herself.

"Can I treat you to lunch?"

"Are you trying to pick me up?" she asked.

"Do you want me to?" Waya retorted. His eyes glinted playfully as he offered her the chance to shoot him down without being offensive.

"Maybe." It was summer break, and a summer romance would be a wonderful thing. Guiltily she squashed thoughts of Touya and Hikaru to the back of her mind. They were just her friends.

The counter woman gave her a glare as they left, sniffing with smugness. Akari gritted her teeth, hating proving her right, but Waya was smiling at her, and she forgot her resentment. Sai looked unhappy as Waya escorted her next door to a restaurant. They selected a booth in the corner, and placed their orders.

There was no awkwardness in their conversation. He asked about how she'd learned to play, and she diverted the topic onto her teachers at school, not comfortable talking about Sai. Unlike Touya, he let it pass.

Like most young professionals, Waya wasn't attending high school. He worked full-time playing Go, but liked to attend concerts and play video games. They talked about their favorite bands – he preferred J-Rock and English music, while she was a firm devotee of J-Pop.

Waya was easy to talk to, she found. He liked Go, but he didn't tune out the real world. He liked going to the movies, and had seen most of what she liked. He suggested casually that they might want to catch a show the next day, and she agreed. They arranged to meet at noon, so they could eat lunch first.

Sai was quiet through the whole conversation, and she pretended he didn't exist. When she and Waya finally parted, she gave Sai a grateful smile. 

_Thanks for not complaining,_ she thought at him.

He didn't whine at her about how they'd been wasting time when they could have been playing Go. Instead, he merely walked beside her as they headed home. She wasn't used to his silence. Akari wondered if she'd hurt his feelings.

She waited until she was back in her room to confront him. "Sai, are you angry at me?" she asked.

"No," he said, and he lowered his eyes. "Just worried that you might end up hurting yourself."

"Hurting myself?" she echoed. "Sai, it's just a bit of fun."

"Is it?" he asked.

Sai never spoke like that unless he had a point, and she bit her retort back. She wondered if he was jealous, but decided it wasn't likely. There was genuine concern in his eyes, and she thought back over her interactions with Waya – and came to a sickening realization. She sat down heavily on her bed, burying her face in her hands.

"Akari?" Sai prompted.

"He reminds me of Hikaru. And Touya-kun." Was she really so indecisive that she was going to choose a consolation prize, rather than risk her heart?

Sai merely spread the fan in front of his face, saying nothing. 


	13. The Moon as a Consolation Prize

**The Moon as a Consolation Prize**

by aishuu

Note: For chainoffics and for tarigwaemir for guessing correctly in blindgo. She asked for an encounter between Ochi and Yashiro.

* * *

At this moment, he was paying attention, but it was a difficult task. 

Ochi tried to keep from showing any signs of nervousness or apprehension as he stared at Yashiro across the goban. He'd been waiting for this rematch for _months_, and it was hard to keep his mind from ranging forward ten, twenty moves. He needed to keep focused on what Yashiro would do next, not what he would do in yose. He vowed that this time, he would beat the Kansai pro.

Some of his peers had teased him for doing something so _stupid_ as challenging Yashiro when he already had secured the right to play in the Hokuto Cup. For a little while, Ochi had wondered if he had made a mistake, but after much thought, he came to the conclusion he had been correct. He didn't want to be a member of the Hokuto Team if there was doubt about his right to be there. He wanted to be the best, indisputably so.

His grandfather had once told him to always shoot for the stars. "That way, even if you fall, you'll still have a chance to catch the moon," he had advised with a laugh.

So Ochi had fallen, but maybe what he got was even better. He had earned Yashiro's respect.

Even though they were in different institutes, it was inevitable they play each other again. When Yashiro had greeted him, he announced himself eager to play, promising that he'd gotten better and Ochi wouldn't catch him.

It was conversation that Ochi rarely shared with his competitors. Most of the time they walked into a match knowing he was a superior lower dan. This time there was a feeling of uncertainty, an excitement in taking the next step on the road to the Hand of God. Ochi could only think of one thing to call it.

Rivalry.

He and Yashiro would enter that maddening dance that Shindou and Touya had perfected, the endless chase to prove their own skill, or to keep that one vital step ahead. They would play each other for the next decade, next half-century, always knowing that the threat of being overtaken or left behind was imminent. Through each other, they would become more than either was alone.

They were rivals. He could get to like the sound of that.


	14. In Some Other World

**In Some Other World**

_by aishuu_**  
**

* * *

In one world, Hikaru and Akira might fight against society to love each other openly. They refuse to accept conventions, declaring to their friends, families and fans that they are important to each other and that love can't be wrong. There's a huge scandal in the Go world about it, but in the end the fuss dies down and they settle into a quiet relationship, content in having each other. 

This is not that world. In this world, Hikaru never gets the courage to tell Akira that he thinks he feels something more than rivalry. Akira, so ingrained in the culture of Go, never even questions that the pounding his heart makes whenever Hikaru is around could be more than adrenaline.

They're close, perhaps even best friends, but there's always a secret between them. They trust each other enough to pursue the hand of God together, and that's what they think is important.

It's almost not worth noticing when Akira accepts his parents' desires for him to attend an _omiai_, because although he agrees to marry the girl, it's Hikaru that he still spends most of his time with.

When Hikaru marries Akari two years later, Akira stands as his best man. Akari is miffed when Hikaru insists on a short honeymoon, but she knows that she will never be first in his heart. She doesn't say anything, instead forming a close friendship with Akira's wife Hisae. When the men forget about them, their wives take comfort in their friendship.

It's a strange relationship, and it's not until Hikaru's nearly forty and a father three times over that he realizes that he doesn't love Akari as more than a friend. This makes him question what love is, and the answer is one he refuses to acknowledge. He has a family, and he has his Go, and he'd be silly to want anything more.

But when Akira's hands brush against his as they clean up after each game, he finds himself wondering what life would be like if he had actually dared to take a chance.


	15. Go Girl

**Go Girl**_**  
**_

_by aishuu_

* * *

I got into Go because I liked a boy – and that's no surprise to anyone who knows me. I'm a romantic at heart, even though it was one love that was never meant to be.  
I was eight, and I had a crush on the quiet boy who sat in the back row of my second year class. It's funny, I can't remember his name, but I still remember how he stuttered whenever I said hello. I thought it was cute, and decided I wanted to be his girlfriend.

When you're that young, dating doesn't mean the same thing as it does to teenagers and adults. It means you have someone to call a boyfriend and talk about to the other girls, and maybe that boy will let you kiss him on the cheek, provided you give him your dessert. It's really very innocent. Our parents must have thought we were cute, too, since they arranged a "play date." I said I would do whatever he wanted, and he wanted to play Go.

I had my first date at a Go parlor, taking a lesson from a lower dan teacher. Maybe that should strike me as sad, but I'm glad for it. I don't think I ever would have taken a lesson without having a crush on that quiet boy.

We switched classes a couple months later, and by that time I'd move onto a new crush – but I did keep going (pardon the pun) to Go classes. Some people have certain gifts, and my mind easily acquired the peculiar traits a good Go player has to possess. I was able to read and plan ahead, and also fearlessly dance in the strange tango of attack and defense that spread out across the board. Once someone is well and truly hooked on Go, it's nearly impossible to step away from it.

It's not usual for a girl to get into Go, but I was fascinated by the game. When I played someone, I wasn't just the cute girl. When I played Go, I was an opponent, no matter who was sitting across from me. When I played Go, I was powerful, and more than just a cute face.

I did well at it, and when I entered middle school, I joined a Go club. I'd done a couple of children's tournaments before, but this was completely different. My social life was set to revolve around the game; the students in the club were going to become my closest friends.

At least that was the plan. It didn't work out that way, because the club members discovered I was a much stronger player than they were. After defeating all the girls in friendly matches – which wasn't a challenge, since some of them were still learning to hold the stones properly – I moved onto playing against the slightly more experienced boys.

I beat them, too.

Had I been smarter, I might have tried to be gentler about it, but I still wasn't at the stage of development where I considered the effects of being better than guys at something on your social life. While I earned some respect, my victories also fostered resentment. A couple of people started to call me a "Go geek" and the label stuck.

I've heard horror stories from other insei about what their interest in Go did to their school careers, so I know I really shouldn't complain. I wasn't completely ostracized – I'm cute, and some people like strange, cute girls – but people would occasionally give me sidelong looks. I learned not to spend time talking about Go, and had to make an extra effort to stay on top of pop culture.

This of course, was when I started to get more seriously interested in boys. I wanted to be ordinary, to gossip with the other girls over who I thought was handsome, and who we were going to give chocolates to on Valentine's Day. It was fun, normal, but as soon as I was done, I went to Go Club and continued to smash my way through their ranks. The couple of times we went to tournaments, I served as the first board and nearly fell asleep from my easy domination of the games.

It was rather boring. None of the girls took the game as seriously as I did, seeing Go as a pastime rather than a vocation. I needed stronger opponents if I was going to get anywhere.

There was my crossroads. I needed to decide if I wanted to take my game to the next level, or admit I was just one of "those girls" who was interested in other things. I thought on it, and tried to imagine life without Go – and couldn't. I talked my father into letting me test for the insei, and three months later I was spending two days a week studying with other aspiring professionals.

This was a jolt of reality for me. I was good, but the people I was set against were better. There is a special kind of humiliation in losing to a child four years younger than I was – but it's also a special kind of motivation. There's nothing I wanted more than to shove Ochi Kousuke's words down his throat, but I didn't have the skill to back up that desire.

I spent several years in the insei, trying to fight for rank. In a way, the insei are a microcosm of the Go world itself, so it's good preparation. You have your stars – like Isumi and Ochi; your upstarts – Shindou comes to mind; and the plodders who make it through by sheer determination – like Honda and myself. It was hard work, and sometimes so frustrating that I spent nights crying myself to sleep, but I made it through. Aside from one incident where I considered quitting, my feet were firmly on that path I wanted to walk.

I was a senior in high school when I finally passed my pro exam. It was my fifth attempt, and I guess that was pretty good. It was enough to keep me from having to make the difficult choice that had nearly destroyed Isumi, about whether or not to continue with Go or accept a different life. I suppose I could have gone to college and gotten a degree, but it was Go I had my heart set on.

I've never seen myself as a woman Go player – just a Go player. Over the past few months I've been tagged with labels as I've advanced in the women's league and maintained a respectable win/loss record in the regular league, but they always mention the fact that I'm female. I'm not insulted by that, although at times I wonder if I'll ever be seen as a contender for a main league title. I want to be a part of the New Wave that's sweeping the Go scene. I don't want to be the "female member of the New Wave."

Don't get me wrong. No one gives anything to me because I'm a female, but there's this kind of distance that's hard to describe. Waya-kun holds the door for me, Shindou-kun speaks more politely when I'm around and Kadowaki-san is nicer to me than he is to anyone else. I sometimes resent it; it's like they're saying I'm not good enough to be treated as one of the guys.

But I'd be offended if they did, so it's a lose-lose situation. I wonder if that makes sense. I don't want to be a feminist, but I'm not ashamed of the fact I'm a woman. It's strange – I guess I want it both ways.

There are days when I want nothing more than to forget about the Go world. Face it, it's a bunch of really weird, mainly old men who are obsessed with a board game. Then I think of all the friends I have in the Go world – even Ochi – and realize that I wouldn't change anything.

Some of them, like Shindou, are on the path to the Hand of God. While I think that's a noble enough goal, I'm more practical at heart. I want to play because I love the game, not to find some mythical apex that is only theoretical. I mean, if the Hand of God exists, how would a player recognize it? Maybe it's already been played, dozens of times in hundreds of situations. To me, the Hand of God isn't a tangible thing, merely the expression a player uses when they try to describe their pursuit of perfection.

But nothing in this world is perfect. I remind myself of that every time I lose a match. On the good days, I try to take a positive attitude and learn from the loss. On the bad days, I try to forget about the game, and go on with a normal life.

I still see some of my friends from high school every now and again. They're in college now, and they talk about their dreams and their boyfriends and what they will do in the future. I sometimes feel ages older than them, since I already know my life will revolve around Go. I don't point this out - I laugh and go along, and we still spend time in Harajuku shopping and checking out guys. But when I go home, I put aside the frivolities. I have my passion, and it's bigger than any man.

I got into Go because I liked a boy, but I stayed for myself. I suppose that first love has led me to the truest passion of all, the desire to become the best Go player possible as I seek the Hand of God.

* * *


	16. A Portrait of Touya Akira as a Young Man

**A Portrait of Touya Akira as a Young Man**

_by aishuu_

* * *

"W-would you like to play a game?"

Ogata took a slow drag on his cigarette, trying to keep from jerking his head around at the tentative sound of young Akira's voice. Rubbernecking would not earn him any points with his mentor, who was likely to be watching his son out of the corner of his eye.

"Sure thing, Akira-kun," said a throaty female voice, and Ogata felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up with awareness. Sakurano was the most beautiful female professional currently in the Go scene, and like many others, he'd toyed with the idea of asking her out. That notion was one he hadn't seriously entertained, since his romantic entanglements never ended in a pleasant way, and she was a colleague. There would be nothing worse than a perpetual "bad morning after."

He could hear the sound of a chair scraping as Akira sat down. It was late afternoon at the Go parlor, but it was a Saturday and plenty of people had gathered to discuss Touya Kouyo's securing of the Jyudan title. There were almost more professionals here than at the Institute on match days.

"How many stones would you like?" Sakurano asked politely. This was her first time at the salon, and she wasn't familiar with Touya Akira's level of skill.

"I don't need any, Sakurano-3-dan," the boy replied. "I would like to play you in an even match."

"If that's the way you want it," Sakurano said dubiously.

"I do," Akira stated.

Ogata knew he was smirking slightly, and tried to hide the faint smile behind his cigarette. It seemed like Touya Akira, all of eleven years old, was starting to notice that there were differences between boy-people and girl-people. Thankfully, the rest of the salon's current customers were familiar with him and his customary shyness to pretend not to pay attention. Though after Akira left, there would be much in the way of discussion about how the Meijin's son was growing up.

Because he was listening, Ogata was able to differentiate the sound of the stones being laid down for nigiri. A moment later, and Sakurano announced she was quite happy to play white.

"Please," Akira murmured, and Sakurano responded in turn.

He was curious how the game would progress. Sakurano was a good player, but in his estimation, Touya Akira was better. That was no slight to Sakurano; it was merely an honest observation. Akira was a prodigy, one who instinctively understood the game. Sakurano was a more common road professional, one who worked hard to rise as far as she could.

He didn't linger too closely, knowing that having a nine dan leaning over them might intimidate Sakurano inadvertently. Akira was used to his presence; he would have the boy recreate the game for him later.

So instead he walked across the room, to where Touya-Meijin was sitting by himself, studying a game he'd set out. The Meijin's attention seemed entirely focused on the goban before him, and the patrons were polite enough to leave him to his study. He was in the middle of defending his Gosei title, and interupting him would be a major faux pas.

Ogata, though, knew that as much as Touya-Meijin loved the game, he would always be a father first. Touya-Meijin kept sneaking glances to where his son was sitting across from the beautiful young woman, a slight smile of amusement curving his lips.

"Your son's keeping interesting company today, isn't he?" Ogata asked.

"He's always had good taste," the Meijin replied in a seemingly-serene fashion. "Pretty and a Go player... a man couldn't ask for more."

Ogata couldn't help but smirk. "She's a little old for him, don't you think? Or are you that eager to gain a daughter-in-law?"

The Meijin raised an eyebrow. "A man always has to experience failure before he finds success. But the games he plays until then will help him shape his final endgame."

His words were deep, they were philosophical, they were Touya Meijin to the core.

And Ogata couldn't help but think they were a crock of shit. "Your son is growing up on you," he said.

"All children do," the Meijin said softly, stealing another glance.

Ogata decided to go sneak a peek at the game, under the pretense of "passing by" while getting a refill on his coffee.

Ichikawa kept two pots simmering behind the counter; one for coffee, and the other full of water for tea. Ichikawa didn't bother to pretend to serve him; Ogata was one of the Meijin's prize students, and had the run of the salon. He filled the white cup up nearly to the brim, not worrying about trivial matters like offering payment.

Like usual, the countergirl kept her eyes on the clientèle, waiting to see if anyone needed her. She always paid special attention to young Akira, mother-henning him something fierce. Ogata, though, noticed that she wasn't the only one fascinated – and pretending not to be – by the Touya-Sakurano match.

Ogata wondered if his birthday had come early; he was having entirely too much fun with this situation. He couldn't resisted teasing the counter girl. "You're pouting, Ichikawa-san," he said.

"What are you talking about, Ogata-san?" she asked, blinking and giving him a big, pasted-on smile.

He shook his head, making a few "tut-tut-tut" noises. "Lying's not attractive," he chided her. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Unbidden, her eyes drifted over Akira's way, and Ogata saw the softening of her expression. "I think I'm a little bit jealous," she admitted. "I always thought I'd be his first crush."

It took all of Ogata's self-control (and that was a lot), not to burst into laughter. He could have taken the conversation to some very, very bad places with that admission, but decided to take it in the spirit Ichikawa had meant it. "You're jealous of an eleven-year-old's affections?"

She glared at him, and Ogata wisely took a step out of her arm's reach. "I just don't like seeing him grow up so soon."

Despite the temptation to ruthlessly continue to tease her, Ogata decided to let the subject drop. Ogata understood women more than he was willing to admit. It wasn't like Ichikawa wanted him to be interested in her, but Akira had always been hers, in a peculiar sort of way. Since Akira was socially awkward, she was one of his closest friends. She'd known him since he was three, and had listened to his problems sympathetically many times. Ichikawa was cute – but Sakurano was the kind of woman that made heads turn whenever she entered a room. A bit of feminine rivalry was definitely in play.

He took another look over at the game, and wasn't surprised to see it over. Ogata took the opportunity to saunter over to take a peek at the final board. The results were decidedly one sided; Akira hadn't played anywhere near his usual level.

Ogata sighed, knowing Akira would have to get over his weakness for a pretty face if he was going to get anywhere.

"Do you want to discuss the game?" Sakurano asked.

Akira shook his head, blushing furiously. "I'd like a rematch sometime," he said instead. "You play in a fashion that I haven't had much practise with."

A sneaking suspicion started to prey on Ogata's mind. Sakurano wasn't _that_ unique a player.

"That would be nice, Touya-kun," said Sakurano, before she glanced at her watch. She rose to her feet, picking up her folded jacket and sliding it over her slim shoulders. "I need to get going to a tutoring session, but I'll look for you the next time I stop by, alright?"

Touya nodded, his face hid behind the curtain of his long hair. "I'll look forward to it."

"How about next week, same time?"

"Sure!" Akira agreed, showing her an incredibly sweet smile.

Ogata watched as Sakurano melted into a figurative puddle of goo. "It's a date!" she said playfully, waving as she made her exit.

Ogata wasn't sure _what_ to think – seeing how Akira had flawlessly manipulated the situation to his own ends was kind of shocking. He was now convinced Akira had intentionally thrown the game, something Ogata wouldn't have thought him capable of.

As Akira cleaned off the board, wearing a slightly smug smile, Ogata felt a chill creep down his spine.

Touya Akira, future ladies' man. The women would never know what hit them.


End file.
